General discussions in here!
#3136
I'm really interested in hearing about what everyone else has done in this situation. When my child's father and I had our wedding, we paid a lot for the photography (5 grand!) and got a beautiful album made as well as a wall portrait. The portrait ended up wrecked cause it fell off the wall so many times (LOL, the universe trying to tell me something?) but after we split, I ended up with the wedding album (and engagement pics for that matter) which are stored in a box at my parents place. I rediscovered them the other day and while I cringe at the amount they cost, I want to get rid of them. However my mother said that I should keep them for my child as she might want them when she is older. I questioned that - I felt they would only make her feel sad...but who am I to say? I'd probably feel just as bad if I got rid of them and then she DID ask for them when she was older. I'm torn and really don't know what to do as I feel they hold bad vibes. What did you guys do with wedding pics or any other special pics???
By lilibec
#3139
HI There

My ex and i split at the beginning of July last year, and i also have all of our wedding photo's, they are presently sitting in my wardrobe, i guess i will just keep them and put them away for the children in the future as my childre are aged 4 1/2 and 2 1/2y. i still have my wedding ring and engagement ring and i have been asked a number of times what i am going to do with them, sadly i don't seem to be able to part with them, but i also don't feel right in giving them to the kids, so i guess they will just sit in a box tucked away out of site.

can i ask how long have you been seperated for

jane
By fozzy
#3150
As much as I hate my husband ,
my daughter & son love him very much.
I will be giving my photos to my daughter, so she knows that once mummy & daddy did love each other, even tho it ended up without love.
I never got to see my own mothers wedding photos (as there were none) and was always sad about that as a little girl.
I feel quite strongly that it is my childrens history and that they have a right to it all.

Who are we to decide what is and isnt important to our children?
Assume that it is all important and let them decide when they are old enough...
We are here to lend a hand in our childrens lives not to dictate...
#3151
i see where you're coming from urban!
i too spent lots of money, and look awesome in them (if i do say so myself, LOL!) but i would much prefere sticking a cut out of elmo over my ex - PMSL! i have them shoved in a deep dark corner as i can't stand looking at someone who now causes such harm to my kids.
HOWEVER, when in doubt, don't i suppose, so i do keep them for now. mainly as a curiosity - thinking i or my kids will want to view them one day.
if you have the storage, keep them. if you don't, you could keep one good one maybe for child reference? they don't need to see thousands of them.
if your divorce is still fresh, keep them and make your decision when the emotive pain has passed...but if they are causing you real stress - get rid of 'em - the bin, or someone elses garage perhaps if you're still in doubt! maybe you could scan one and put it on a disc....when i think of the money i wasted on that now, i cringe inside...
#3152
Thanks so much for your replies!

lilibec, we've been divorced for 6 years, however he still causes a lot of upheaval in our lives, due to his very poor lifestyle choices. I still have the rings still too, but I will get round to selling them one day and put the money towards my child's education fund. I certainly have no attatchment to them and feel that since they are worth something money-wise, the value of them can go to better use. I have lots of other lovely meaningful jewellry to pass on so it won't be like my child is missing out on that. It's unfortunate that the pictures arn't worth anything cash-wise and that's where I'm stumbling - while I am not sentimental about them at all, my child may be.

fozzy, I found out later on that he'd been cheating on me with various affairs throughout our entire marriage, even before and during our engagement (!!!) - so I personally don't feel it shows my child that once we loved each other. You are right - it is my child's history... but at the same time it's my history and it IS history. I'm under no circumstances trying to decide what may or may not be important to my child though, and that's why I'm doubtful about tossing them.

linda, I agree about "when in doubt"...I like the idea of just keeping a couple on disc but then I'd have to chose...eeek! Just the thought of having to sit there and go through them all is sad enough.

SIGH!

So I guess the general consensus so far is keep them...but keep them away.

Thanks again, so very much all of you!! If anyone else has anything to contribute, I'm still interested in hearing what your opinion might be.