General discussions in here!
By gypsyblu
#5684
Hi lovely ladies

Jus whipping past as life is just EXTREMELY hectic here at the moment. I have studied my Tafe course and I am working 4 days a week. Plus with all the extracurricular activities the kids are doing (most of which are free through the school!) we don’t get much time to stop and take a breath.

Quick update:

DVRO – he is contesting it (or course *eyeroll* :roll: ) so we will be going to trial soon. I am absolutely terrified of this but I am trying really hard not to think about it until it actually happens.

Legal Aid – I think finally it has all been approved. It has been such a saga. I have had to write a stat dec re some matters that the ex lied about in his affidavit but that Legal Aid then demanded I prove were lies, even though I had proven this all to them months ago – not sure that makes sense lol, sorry. I also had files get lost on their system for over 3 weeks, which put things on hold as well. I was so upset that even though his affidavit was full of crap, I was the one who had to prove him wrong.

Access – He filed in a local magistrates court interstate about a month ago, and gave us 3 working days to respond, file and decide what to do etc! It was extremely stressful and very nerve racking as he had filed interim orders exactly the same as his final orders which meant I was about to lose my children if we did not get it right. We ended up have to employ another lawyer interstate to represent me (which I am struggling now to pay off) and we managed to get the matter moved to the Federal Magistrates Court in the state with the children and I. He was nasty and manipulative and OMG he lied SO much in his affidavit! I was expecting it but geesh, this was extreme. I am so weary of having to defend who I am and tell everyone what he has done and still does over and over again. He has proven to me again and again (and thankfully now my lawyer as well) how much of a liar he is. So, we are now waiting for a date for whatever part of the process is next. I am so lost about it all, I have decided I will just sit back and wait for the mean time. I was getting very anxious and not sleeping worried about it all, so now I just live while I wait. :?

CSA – Well, the silly boy (lol) has lied to CSA as well. He made claims to them re his access to the children, which I was contacted about, and easily able to prove he was lying. They are not happy with him at all. He has also lied to them about his income, which again has been proven. So much time he is wasting for other people.

The children – they were ordered to see him for 12 days over the holidays. It was certainly not ideal, and I was not comfortable at all with it but I had to do it. The whole process of filing interstate and in a local magistrates court meant I had to say yes to that to get it moved. I felt so manipulated, and bullied into it. Same tactics as in our marriage. The children did not cope very well at all, but thankfully their counsellor has agreed to see them still (even though the risk of the files being ordered for the court is high, the children are the priority here. They are slowly coming back to life now they are home here. The change in them was dramatic. He refused to give the youngest her medication as well......don’t get me started on that one!
Me – holding my breath again. Not something I like but it is what is getting me through. I have wonderful new sensor lights in and shiny new deadlocks (oh and a safe room now!!!! ) thanks to the local VOCS so at least I feel safe with them and my alarm. He still gives me child, and just knowing he is in the state takes any breath I have left away. He terrifies me and I know he is just waiting, waiting for his time to pounce. :(

Thanks for reading my long blurb.... :D
By gypsyblu
#5777
I am off to court on Monday....extremely nervous. I have no idea as to what this is for as we actually have not been officially infirmed, my lawyer heard it on the grape vine and he is not happy. Oh well, two sleeps. I have a lovley Court Companion coming with me (thank goodness).
By Mummy Moderator
#5784
Good luck gypsyblu, we're all thinking of you!
By gypsyblu
#5815
Hey thanks for asking :)

It was interesting to say the least. We were on (thank goodness we went). The other party called my lawyer just before going in and wanted to start negotiating to which I felt a bit bullied into by them (it was a "we will drop the full residency claim if you give us everything else we want" type of negotiation). But we asked the magistrate to give us a couple of hours to see how it went and we started the phone roundabout......Although I was in a way happy to start the negotiating my instincts were screaming that something was wrong and in the end we got the matter adjourned for a couple of weeks to go away and think about it all. I was optomistic though as this was the first time that "he" had shown any sort of maturity........but I was wrong :( I learnt very quickly that he is STILL plotting behind my back and is gathering "evidence" of child abuse on my part (he is also trying to gather "evidence" of my criminal past), all a play on "proving" how bad a mother I apperently I am. Just to make it clear - there is NO child abuse and NO criminal past. I also had an extremely disturbing call at work which has led me to being very nervous and scared. I think he is completely unstable which makes him very dangerous to me and the children. I have spoke to my lawyer and we have put a complete halt to any further negotiations and he is going to contact the other lawyer and ask a "what the F*** is going on" sort of question (lol) and he has said he is bringing in the Big Guns - The Barrister (what does this mean????). So we are now back to square one, or even further back. We are back to heading down the family report path etc.

I am scared. The more "he" does the more he makes it harder for this whole process and the angrier he is getting. I know he is under financial stress (because of his shocking inability to handle money) and with all the court matters he is not coping at all, which sadly as history has proven, will all be aimed at me :? I have my DVRO andmy security but I am not sure if it is enough, but I suppose time will tell *shrugs*

I had a little cry at Centrelink todayas the stress is really getting to me too. On top of all of what he is doing, I have no idea how I am going to pay my rent AND feed us now I have no job. Being a single mother AND over qualified AND over 40 is three strikes it seems.

I am feeling so numb now.....this scares me too. Im not sure I am coping but my counsellor is away for 4 weeks :(