General discussions in here!
By Mummy Moderator
#5819
gypsyblu, i'm so sorry you're feeling so bad - and you have every right too - what a cretin your ex is. i know this is cold comfort, but many of us have been through really awful, mind-altering experiences with crazy exes hell-bent on causing trouble (revenge?) and torturing us with what matters most (the kids), and despite how absolutely awful it is for you right now, you ARE going to survive it!
You sound like you are really smart and coping the best that you can - just keep on keeping on and doing what you are doing - damage control.
I'm also sorry and frustrated for your DV not being taken seriously - the current system is so contradictory. There's no good advertising all over main stream media on being aware of DV, and how it won't be tolerated in society, blah blah blah if it then gets laughed off by officials in every quarter!
Above all, listen to your instincts about your ex and possible danger. Keep alert, watch what is going on around you, look for him in case he is stalking you, check the car before you get in - that kind of stuff - keep safe. Keep people around you if you can. You're doing the right thing not communicating with him unless through your legal representation.
And remember that we're here, and we understand the kind of stress you're going through (Centrelink makes everyone feel like crying!) - you're not alone :)
By Mum22
#5827
I agree with MumMod. You come across as a very determined and strong, yet highly turned and compassionate person, most probably because YOU ARE. Stay focussed, remember why you are doing all this, why you are going thro this, it is worth it, it will pan out eventually, and life will be soooo good. This is just a "phase" you must pass through.
it sounds to me that ex was freaking out, can't handle the situation, and has only bought more "negotiating' time, something the courts seem to like, but of course, you know there will be no productive negotiation, so sit it out until the next court appearance.
Being a sinlge mum, qualitifed and over 40 says you are experienced, able, committed, and very very capable. hang in there!
By lilmama
#5829
Hey GB

Hope you’re feeling better today!

I know things are rough right now but it seems like you have a really good lawyer who is out there serving your best interests so this is a great start. Does the ex have a private lawyer or is he legal aide?

If I can offer some advice.

Really start to read up on Family Law and also your ex’s personality type. Sounds like he has some sort of mental issues going on. I say this because I think the more you know what you’re up against and the type of person that he is, the better you will be equipped to deal with whatever he throws at you. You may feel like you know him like the back of your hand, and this is true but knowing how to deal with him is another thing.

If you empower yourself, you’ll feel immeasurably better and ask lots of questions along the way, no matter how stupid you think they are. Have battle plans and know the ex better then the knows himself. I think we get overwhelmed when we don’t understand a situation.

Its all in how you prepare yourself. My favourite saying is: Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.