[Mama22]

Does anyone else get sick of hearing by well paid lawyers "we can't force him to sign"?

I'm sick of it.

I was sick of it when I gave birth and gave a paternity test to Centrelink and I was still slammed by receiving a letter saying I wasn't doing enough to collect child support.

I was sick of it when child support said "we can't force him to sign" because he refused to admit he was my daughters father, even after a paternity test for his own certainty, and he refused to sign her birth certificate or a statutory declaration that he was my daughters father.

And so, I was punished, emotionally, and financially each time due to his rights not to admit he was a father, while I was a mother on my own to this beautiful newborn.

I am sick of it, but it continues after 3 years of torment and nasty institutions such as the AAT that act like they've grabbed the scum of the world and turned them into members to hurt single mothers and the most vulnerable as much as possible in my opinion, I still get the "I can't make him sign".

He agreed I would have sole care, which I've had since her birth, but now that he has to sign documents, he hasn't even responded. I get asked for this all of the time by schools and doctors, but he wants to hurt us as much as possible, and even though he originally agreed "in principal" he hasn't signed, while my lawyers have already charged me $600 more than the fixed fee I was assured.

So you can't force him to sign, then why are women forced to have his signature in so many instances? Why am I still paying for his legal misconduct?

Who knows? He's a crooked lawyer, and has all crooked lawyers in Melbourne jumping, but why is he allowed to commit fraud and corruption blatantly and harm children and women with all evidence there just because he is a lawyer?

I don't want him to sign anything, I want the law to make him sign. He isn't above the law just because his father is a well known lawyer and principal of his firm. Do something, make him obey the same laws the rest of us have to.

[Agnieszka Godden]

I hear your frustration but you can pay someone millions, and short of your lawyer jumping in their car, and putting a gun to their head, it doesn't matter if the lawyer is paid or doing the matter for you for free, the legal answer is go to court. The law can't make anyone sign anything, the judge will give you an order if he doesn't comply, the judge cant force someone to sign either.

[Mama22]

Thanks, and I understand that, but why does the law require women to get their signature in so many instances then?

For example, 1. birth certificate. We're required to have the father on the certificate, but they don't have to sign.

2. Child Support. If you receive ftb you need to show you've attempted to get this, but if they won't admit they are the father by a) signing the birth certificate or b) a stat. declaration, you will have your benefits reduced. I even had a paternity test and it still wasn't accepted by child support and in addition I was slammed by Centrelink and had payments reduced for not doing enough. I was forced to go to court with no child support and reduced benefits with two children in my sole care.

3) schooling, medical and other instances require the consent of both parents. If you don't have a court order showing you have sole care, you have nothing. And I could go on.

Yes, you can go to court, which is emotionally draining and costly for women, but it seems the responsibility falls onto them in a disproportionate way by the laws and policies too often, and going to court is the only option. If you have an ex that wants to hurt you, they know how to use the system to do this very well.

Costs are almost never awarded in family court too, so it's just a painful experience for many women and children in a system that absolutely favours men, whether or not they want any involvement in their child's life and show that they are in fact malicious and dishonest. What men want, men get, and their autonomy is respected while women get none.

[Mama22]

And I should add that the paternity test was all handled by lawyers that specialise in proving parentage, so it was done perfectly.

Even though he was the one that decided to deny he was the father at the end of my pregnancy until he had proof, he still didn't even pay for even half of the test he requested. I wish I never did it. Since then he has tried to push me into abortion and lie through his teeth to avoid all responsibility, and no matter how much evidence I show on his dishonesty, he always gets his way and sympathy.

It would be nice if just once I felt like me and my children mattered at all and were considered. He hasn't just shown incredible disrespect and abuse towards me, he has against the court and the law so many times, but he gets away with it each and every time, no matter how egregious. There's no doubt if I did anything near what he has done, I would be in serious trouble.