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By sybylla84
Hi ladies,

I'm due to give birth to a beautiful little boy in about a week and I'm going at it alone- out of choice. His Dad is a good guy and a longtime friend but he's not going to be sharing any of the parenting load with me. We had a few drunken nights together and unexpectedly made our little feller... I was still on the pill at the time!
Anyway, he knew how much I wanted to have a baby and has been supportive of my choice, but he's not going to actively be involved in his life. The main reason is he is based overseas for work and isn't planning on being in Australia anytime soon. We weren't in a relationship when we made the baby and we see no future together nor any reason to try and force once simply because of what has happened- though we care about each other as friends and both want the best for our son.
I don't want to put him on the birth certificate- and he doesn't really want to be on it either- not because I don't want him to have any part in the kids life but because I don't want him to get chased by centrelink for child support payments. We're not planning on hiding his identity from his son and he'll obviously be some part of his life, it's just that since this was entirely my choice I want him to contribute if and when he wants to- I consider it a really big gift that he's given me in supporting me to have this baby. (I have a bunch of medical issues and seriously never thought I'd be able to have kids naturally so this baby is a total miracle)
I don't actually want any help from centrelink in terms of child support payments- I'm taking my Paid Parental Leave because I'm entitled to it but beyond that, I'm not interested in any assistance. I'm not wealthy by any means but I work for myself and do okay and I feel like for the most part, I can get by. But I DO want to be able to access child care benefits/the rebate when it comes time to go back to work. So I have two questions:

1. If I put him on the BC will centrelink chase him for child support before assessing how much of the child care rebate I'm entitled to or is my income enough to go off?
2. I know that having a father on the BC means that I'll need to get his signed permission for things like passports and official documents... in that instance, is it not easier to just leave him off since he's fine with that, rather than hassling him to get everything signed when it needs to be?

This whole thing is literally like I've had a sperm donor- a nice, decent guy trying to help out a woman who badly wanted kids- except I happen to know who he is. I just don't want him to get screwed over for being decent... at the same time, I don't want to miss out on the (small) things I'm entitled to as parent... Any advice would be hugely appreciated!
By Mum22
No dad on the BC means the Base rate amount of Family Tax Benefit A & B Payments ( If you are eligible) as they are determined on your income & relationship status. I do not think that it would affect your eligibility to CC Benefit & CC Rebate & that will all change next year anyway so keep an eye out for the new payment/s & rules that apply.

If you put dad on the BC, & CSA got involved, you could request 'private collect', which means that on paper, he would pay you directly & the money does not go through the CSA, but in reality, he could simply not pay you at all. You would then declare that you HAVE received the money owed & you could then receive the FTB A &B as a sole parent.

Right now he says he does not wish to be involved & won't interfere, but just be aware that things can & do change over time & you may find that Dad suddenly wants more than he has said/changed his mind (which often seems to occur when a new lady comes into a man's life). Just saying. Protect yourself.

I do not believe that it would be detrimental for baby if dad is not around for, well, years, & then was introduced in a really positive way. Think of the multitude of babies born during war time who had great relationships with their dads once home from war. As long as Dad's involvement is positive, then it can only be of benefit.

Congrats on your little bundle of joy. I wish you well in your new adventure xx