I pleaded with my parents to separate, move on and be happy. But neither would end the cycle until I was 14, then my brother and I went with mum, and my sister went with dad. The back and forth was hell, my dad would always call my mum a whore to us and ask how many men the slut is fucking at the moment.
At 16 I started dating a boy, 6 months later I was pregnant and moved out of home. Where the same cycle began again, I was beaten manipulated but thought this was the best I could ever hope for, I felt it my destiny my heritage and the only way I deserved to be treated.
At 19 I tried to leave with our child (pregnant again), but after a severe beating and being choked till I passed out I was too scared. He then began holding me daily caressing me telling me he would hunt me down if I ever leave, I would wish for death once he was done with me- then going into extreme detail how I would be tortured.
It was only at 22 I found courage to leave, by then he had a new gf (affair) he let me go with little fuss.
My greatest fear for any and all children growing up watching abuse then continuing being subject to high stress and no real steady home is the cycle starting again.