Are you an international mum here in Australia? Perhaps you are unable to relocate back to your own home country due to child custody arrangements?
Or are you an Australian mum overseas? Perhaps you are stranded overseas in your ex's home country due to an international child custody law?
This forum is for you!
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By Daisydoo
#12990
I left my relationship with my baby due to DV but my child now has to have unsupervised contact with an abusive man. I'm not allowed to leave so I am trying to make the best of a situation I woldn't choose. Just wondering if anyone else is stuck here unable to return home?
By Mum22
#13001
I have been. I am fortunate that I have family here too. At one point though, at the height of the abuse, I was willing to flee, and leave my family, in order to escape the abuse. I hid, I fled, I fought, I stood my ground, and I raised my son, who now has a healthy relationship with his father, dispite all his dad's stuff-ups. He understands his fathers limitations, but loves him anyway. This man, who was so abusive to me, eventually tried his best for his son (very sub-standard, but his heart found its way into the right place after a few years).
By Daisydoo
#13015
It is good to hear a story with a good outcome, you must have done a great job. I won't hold my breath on ex stepping up (personality dosorder which according to psychs is not going to change)but I do avoid badmouthing him to my child.

At age nearly 6, little one has father worked out pretty well without my help. Sometimes kids figure things out quicker than grown ups in their way, probably they are better at listening to their instinct and they don't always make excuses for people.

I do wish we had family here for some better male role models. I am noticing little one observing other dads and seeing a difference. Luckily we do have some nice male neighbours who take time to help us out when needed and chat to little one.
By Mum22
#13016
Yes little ones can be so inciteful.
My younger son has a dad with an 'unusual' personality.
Like yours, he worked out his father early on and is now simply biding his time until he can vote with his feet.

One thing I always maintain is that without his dad, he would not have been born, so I give credit for that. he knows that I love him, no matter what. We have to take the bad with the good, so to speak.
Any personality traits that may be genetic, I discuss in the way that one has authority over ones actions and as such, a person can elect to act a certian way, or not. My son knows he will be empowered to behave NOT like his own father, but as a better man. If that outcome prevails, then I have done my job as his mum.
Finding good male role models really helps, just stay vigilant, some men pretend, they tink you're vulnerable and/or desparate. Enjoy your childs childhood as much as you can, they soon grow.
By In4aclnow
#13521
I am stuck here still fighting 7 years of court cases to regain more custody time. I have to comment interstate from Sydney to Tasmania between my job and seeing my child. I have no family support so it is VERY hard. The Father is neglectful and my contact is limited as the Father noes not foster our relationship (bitter) and monitors our telephone conversations - though he denies it... I wish I had more support of am=nother Mum in similar circumstances in either Sydney or tasmania.