Anything and everything kid-related in there - news, announcements, general mesages, ideas, call-outs, etc...
Forum rules: Please read the complete forum rules, terms and conditions here: viewtopic.php?f=16&t=15&start=0
For any concerns regarding this forum, please contact us here: forum.administrator@singlemotherforum.com
#13062
Hello Everyone,
I am a single Mum of 3 boys. Just wondering how others are able to get their kiddies to help out around the house. I am really struggling with this at the moment. I used to work in aged care, but had a breakdown in 2009. Since then I am overwhelmed (on and off) with everything I have to do for everyone.
Please don't tell me what I have done wrong or what I could have done when the boys were younger. I don't need criticism, in fact I am finding it a bit harsh at the moment, as it seems everyone that I talk to about it, can only point out what I should have done when they were younger not how to help now they are older. Teenagers are a different breed from primary school aged children.
The hardest part for me is the fight everyday to get things done. With appointments here there and everywhere, and yes I see doctors and counsellors and am on medications. I just want life to back to normal somewhat and ideas on how to get them to help out is high on my list.
Thanks in advance. :)
#13063
Pfffffffft....... I don't mean to make light of your plight but you are right in the middle of teenage hell. I did see a sign on a car today actually;

Mothers of teenagers know why Animals eat their young!

That cheered me up for a minute :D

All you can do is try, it has zip to do with how they were raised, truly teenagers are in a different brain space and the only getting through that is time. Is there any chance that you could afford to get help from a cleaner, even one every third week would be a huge help to you.
#13064
i had 3x 18yo and 1x 17yo living at home for a year or so, i put all the chores i couldnt do (mop floors, lawns, bins,dishes, feed cat, bathroom, toilet) etc in a hat, i got them to pick 2 chores each, i worked out "fines" for when the jobs werent done, depending on what the chore was depended on how much the fine was, $10 per day the lawn wasnt done, $2 am and pm if the cat wasnt fed, $5 if bins didnt make it out, $2 every half hour after 9pm the dishes werent done, i kept a tally on the fridge, i then made up a contract for them to sign stating all the rules... you now thinking this is a bit excessive, but i tell you it took one week for all their board to tripple, for them to do their chores... i had one son tell me he only had $20 to last him the week (he was on new start), i explained that a landlord wouldnt care... so sorry its not my problem lol... worked a treat...
#13072
if you have it, change the wifi password. They don't get it until chores are done. Or take computer cable so they cant turn it on until chores are done. Don't let them tell you they 'have homework to do due tomorrow' etc, should of had that organised before the night before! Make the passwords hard though, my brother and I made short work of my mums attempts to change internet passwords when we were growing up. Good luck, I'm only 22 so i remember very well what I was like.. and my brothers and sisters. Not looking forward to him becoming a teen! Another option would be to give them money for each chore they do, I'm going to start this with my boy next year. A base line pocket money for everyday chores (make bed, help with dishes etc) and then 'bonus' money for other chores, like vacuum, dust, wash the car..
#16376
I have a 16 and 13 year old and my trick is to find their currency and take it away if they don't do their jobs around the house.
My daughters currency is her ipad. If she doesn't do her jobs, I take her iPad.
My sons currency is the Xbox. No jobs, no Xbox