A special forum for mums that - due to Court Orders, finances or otherwise - are unable to move from their current residential location back to family support, or to a location of their choice in Australia
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Hey all. Im in the process of doing mediation with my ex.. we start in a week. I want to move out of the town that we both live in. Approx 150km away. My oldest starts school next year and we have 50-50 shared care. This is not a court appointed thing just an agreement we came to using lawyers. In my home town there are not many job opportunities but where i want to move to there are countless job opportunities. My ex is disabled and will never work again (because he doesnt have to, not because he cant.. he just wont) i want to show my children that if you want to get anywhere in this world you have to work for it. Having shared care means i will either have to get majority custody so the kids move with me and go to school where i live or sacrifice time with my kids and let him be the primary carer. I just dont know what to do. I cannot live in this town anymore, evetything here reminds me of all the awful times ive had here. But i don't know if sacrificing tome with my kids to be a better provider will benifit them. Is there anyone in a similar situation that can shed some light?? I really dont know what to do. Cheers
I think that if one parent can show they have a greater need to be somewhere than the other, then they can relocate (with the kids). Needing to get a job is a DEFINITE plus. The fact that the other parent does not NEED to be in the town because they don't have a job is a definite plus too. If there was strong extended family support in your town that would be taken away should you move, that is a minus, but the point of my post is to say, definitely get some legal advice, because my lay understanding is that you're likely to be in a strong position to move - with your children - and if that is the case, ex will either have to suck it up or move too.
It's a shame there aren't many current posts on this subject as it would be really helpful to hear other more recent experiences and outcomes.
I really feel for you - I'm in a similar position where I want to relocate with my two children back to my home town which is 6 hrs away. I'm between a rock and a hard place as it's very expensive to move back to that area but I need some support and that is where my family and friends are. There are also more work opportunities for me and more opportunities for the children and I in general. We're still disputing shared care and while I've been the primary carer because of my ex's work commitments, he's no longer working (at all) as is now claiming 50/50 care. I feel I'll have no choice but to lodge through the court. I understand the children should maintain a relationship with their father and I feel an agreement can be reached with regards to me relocating (as he doesn't have work commitments now anyway and can easily more himself as he has no family in the area we live in either) but I feel he'll dispute it for no other reason than to be spiteful towards me. I've suffered two years of emotional abuse since the separation and financial abuse during our marriage and I need to be near my family. I hope you resolve your relocation issue soon and I'd be interested in hearing your experience and the outcome. Hang in there.
I stayed, as my legal support suggested that nobody gets relocation he would have access to them every holidays for the whole holidays. I couldn't do this for for child protection issues that he denied. I feel I was backed into a corner and now that my children are all teenagers I wish I had an opportunity to have had family support and a familiar community around me from when they were a younger age. The bigger issues arise when they grow older and realize they are quite alone in life compared to their friends. The impact of having a dad with a limited interest in a location cut off from friends and family has not let my kids grow to their full potential to say the least. My daughter attends counselling about the child protection issues and knows she is not one of the lucky kids. We celebrate Christmas alone for half a day and birthdays are often forgotten by the father. My family and friends will always be waiting else where for us to return but we have not shared life for 15 years now, and you only get one childhood. If you leave just go quickly, get a job and settle them well. They are your kids so you have the wright to look after them well.