Do you have a Parenting Plan? Are you considering making one? Discuss parenting plans in here!
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By MummaBear50
#15072
Hi All,

I attended joint mediation with ex husband and have a parenting plan in place (this was not signed or dated by either one of us but rather printed and given to us both by facilitators). 18 month old spends alternate weekends (inclusive of nights) and 1 weekday night with his father.

When my son returns to my home he is unsettled and as of late has been very clingy toward me, so much so he has to come with me into the bathroom when I use the toilet. I understand it may be a developmental phase but it can take a day or two for him to return to what I believe is his normal behavior.

Ex has used the "see you in court" statement several times and I am unsure exactly what he wants at this stage. If this were to go to court, as he keeps threatening, how likely would a 50/50 split of time be granted? I don't feel this is appropriate at our sons young age. At mediation I felt I had to agree to what my ex wanted to make him happy, rather then follow the numerous suggestions made to me based on prior studies.

Appreciate any insight!
By April
#15073
Hi MummaBear,

I agree with you where you feel your child is too young to be going through the 50/50 custody scenario. When i went through mediation i pretty much agreed to what my ex wanted aswell, although he never went through with his own orders (ours was made a court consent order). But it wasnt until after this that i read up somewhere on an article that over night stays for children under a certain age (i think it was 3??) was not good for them emotionally, mentally, physiologically. I wish i had read this in the beginning and put my foot down. my child would come home from her sleepovers a complete mess. it took days to bring her back into routine, her behavior was horrible and she also became extremely anxious to leave me cause she absolutely hated going to her dads. she wouldnt speak, and him and his mother would put her down cause of her not talking, and now she has a speech and language delay which im paying for lessons (he speech and behavior picked up immensly when he stopped seeing our child). I felt there was nothing i could do simply because he is her father and he has parental rights.
start writing down a journal, write everything that is said between you and ex, what your son is like when he leaves for his dads and when he comes home. document everything. if you can record it on your phone. I should of done this as i am now regretting it cause im back at court for name change and he is stating i stopped his visits when he stopped of his own accord. I have no proof, so pretty much too bad for me.
do as much research as you can on cases like yours, write down things as soon as you think of them (things that are in childs best interest eg : its in my childs best interest to have stability, structure and stability). so that way if things do go to court, youll be prepared somewhat.
Does you son go to day care? would they be able to write reports on sons behavior or anything after he gets back from seeing dad?
I cant say if judge will grant 50/50, i think they look at how close you live to eachother, and they have to take into consideration when the child starts school, where the child will attend school. if dad lives too far away for you both to take him to school, then it wont happen. you just need to try and convince the judge that it is not in the childs best interest and why.
I hope this has helped somewhat. But im pretty sure (i think) with just a "parenting order" you dont need to abide by it. If its a signed court consent order then you do.
By MummaBear50
#15075
Hi April,
Thank you for your response. I will certainly start documenting everything. All of our correspondence is done via email but I like the idea of the diary. My son does attend day care and is the only constant in his life! Ex husband and I live around 20 minutes from one another and day care is in the "middle" for us both which works well. I only have a parenting plan (not legally binding) but I did want to lodge this to the court to turn into a Consent Order but am thinking twice on this now... perhaps i'll reevaluate in a few months time before lodging anything to make it binding. Ex husband is the "playful" type and does not see my beliefs of structure and stability, well, we have different views on these topics!
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By Jasmine
#15077
No to 50/50. It is not in your child's best interest. Certainly lots of visits during the week, during the day if that works but not packing bags and being away from you every second week. A week is a long time for a child.